Do You Always Know The Right Thing To Say?

Author: Dave Crisp

16 May

It’s a trick question. Of course none of us does, not in every situation. So what do you do?

It’s an ultimate leadership question. Leading is pushing toward the right direction when you’re uncertain. The five skills I use are easy to learn and logical once you’ve had a bit of practice. I’m hoping this becomes like Maslow’s model, so well known we all take it more or less for granted… once someone has explained it. It becomes simple, obvious and easy to remember when you need it. Just mention the name and everyone nods.

I’ve started to get this reaction from audiences now that I’ve stopped "teaching my model." Instead I use examples to illustrate not the model, but solutions to some problem an audience is familiar with. I show the model as I talk about how the problem resolves. If I do it well, it’s obvious the model makes it easy to know what to say or do.

In most cases, it’s the five coaching questions, used in order, that help most. In complex situations, it’s useful to understand the principles behind the questions and coaching approach. I literally put the principles "behind the questions" on my handout – when you turn over the card. You can find a sketch of these here on my web site blended together.

This is a more complicated version than I hand out when I’m there to provide a practical overview of how they work. The coaching questions are numbered 1 to 5 beginning in the center oval. You simply use them more or less word for word in any situation to help find a useful direction and starting point, both for yourself and others who are involved. The other words are "the principles behind the questions" which take more explaining or more thinking time to puzzle through. You can do this on your own, but it helps to have an in-person explanation… once.

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